Batman #686 Review

Batman #686 is the first half of a two issue story by Neil Gaiman entitled “Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?” And what an appropriate question given the fallout from RIP and Final Crisis. I am curious to see how Gaiman writes Batman. This is not a title that I would have ever imagined Gaiman penning. This should be an interesting ride. Let’s go ahead and do this review.

Creative Team
Writer: Neil Gaiman
Pencils: Andy Kubert
Inks: Scott Williams

Story Rating: 10 Night Girls out of 10
Art Rating: 9 Night Girls out of 10
Overall Rating: 9.5 Night Girls out of 10

Synopsis: We begin with Batman off panel asking where is he and if he is dreaming. Another voice from off panel answers that Batman is in Gotham and that he is not dreaming. Batman answers that he knows it is Gotham but that it does not look right. We see the Catmobile pulling up at a small dive on Crime Alley. A glorious looking Golden Age Catwoman steps out of the car. (Selina never looked better.)

A street thug offers to watch Catwoman’s car to make sure nobody scratches it in return for a dollar. Catwoman replies that her car is already being protected. We see a bunch of nasty and mean alley cats sitting all over the Catmobile.

Catwoman enters the dive and asks the bartender where everyone is. The bartender says that everyone is in back. Catwoman says that she recognizes the bartender. The bartender answers that he is Joe Chill and that he was here at the beginning so it only makes sense that he is here at the end.

Catwoman replies that she thought Joe was dead. Catwoman then enters the room in the back of the bar. Off panel Batman exclaims that Joe Chill is dead. The other voice tells Batman “Shhhh.”

We see Alfred welcoming Selina into the back room where they have Batman’s casket with Batman’s body in it. Off panel, Batman says “But…That’s me.”

We then see Two-Face pull up in his car outside of the bar. The same street thug offers to make sure no one damages Two-Face’s car in return for a dollar. Two-Face responds that he will flip his coin. If the non-scarred side is up then the thug gets a dollar. If the scarred side comes up then Two-Face will kill the thug and leave the thug’s body as a warning to anyone who might touch his car. The coin comes up clean side up so Two-Face gives the thugs a dollar and enters the bar.

We then see Commissioner Gordon pushing Barbara in her wheelchair down the hall to the backroom behind the bar. Alfred welcomes them to the viewing of Batman.

We see Eddie Nigma, the Riddle Man, telling Selina that it is not supposed to happen like this. That everybody knows that you put the Batman in some death trap, that Batman pulls something out of his utility belt and escapes. Same bat time, same bat channel. Off panel, Batman states that this is all wrong.

We see the Joker pull up in his car. The Joker asks the street thug to watch his car. This time, the street thug does not want to. The Joker says that he will give the street thug twenty dollars. The street thug is scared to death and stammers that the Joker is going to kill him. The Joker responds that he does not randomly kill people. That he only kills people when it is funny. Joker dourly asks “What would conceivably be funny about killing you?”

The Joker enters the bar. The street thug rambles that if he leaves and does not watch the Joker’s car then the Joker will find him and kill him. That if he does stay and watch the car then the Joker will kill him anyway.

Off panel Batman says that this is Crime Alley, but that it has not looked this way in sixty years. Batman asks why they are here. The other voice answers “Why? Bruce, you never left.”

We see all of the various rogues that Batman has fought over the years. Some are in their Golden Age versions, some in the Silver Age form and others in their modern form. We see a version of the Joker that looks like he is from the Batman animated series. We also see Renee Montoya at the viewing.

A young Dick Grayson then stands up and asks if anyone has anything to say about Batman. Selina stands up and walks to the front. This is an older version of Selina than what we saw at the beginning of the issue. But, she is still in her Golden Age style. Selina says that she wants to tell them what kind of man Batman was and how he died.

We flashback to when Selina first became the Catwoman and became a jewel thief. On one of her first missions, Batman appeared on the scene. Batman and Catwoman had a brief tussle in which her mask fell off. Batman was stunned by Selina’s beauty and that enabled her to claw his face and make a quick escape.

Over the years, Batman and Catwoman continued their courtship up on the roof tops. That it was a strange flirtation. A game of hide and seek. And then one night it changed. We see Batman putting Catwoman in handcuffs. (Easy people, they are not in the bedroom about to have fun. They are on a rooftop of a building after Batman just stopped Catwoman from pulling off a heist.)

Batman asks Catwoman if she ever thought about going straight. Catwoman replies that if she went straight that Batman would never pay any attention to her. That if she opened up a pet store and lived a normal life would Batman ever call her.

Batman counters that the two of them could fight crime together. Catwoman answers that she is a criminal and she enjoys it as much as Batman. Batman answers that he is not a criminal. That he is justice. Catwoman replies that if Batman really thought that then he would be a police officer and not be wearing a mask.

Catwoman says that they could both stop and be normal together. Batman does not answer. Catwoman says that she does not even know Batman’s real name. Catwoman then asks Batman to marry her. Batman does not answer. Catwoman states that he understands that Batman is married to Gotham. That Batman is going to stop bad people even if it kills him.

Catwoman then asks what if she cleans up Gotham. What then? Will Batman then retire? Batman answers that cleaning up Gotham will never happen. Catwoman slips free from the cuffs. Catwoman says that her parents were killed, too. Catwoman says that Batman is not alone. Catwoman then disappears. Batman just stands there.

We see Catwoman doing an incredible job cleaning up the crime from Gotham. We see Catwoman being attacked by a pimp with a knife. Catwoman grabs the pimp’s arm and stabs him with his own knife.

Batman appears on the scene and says that Catwoman cannot keep administering her own brand of justice in this manner. Batman says that this is wrong. Catwoman asks if Batman feels that way because she is one of the “bad guys?” Catwoman says that the fact that she cares for Batman means nothing to him. Batman then disappears from the scene.

Selina says that it was a long time till she saw Batman again. Selina says that she did end up opening up a pet store and ended her career as Catwoman. Selina thought that she would read about Batman being killed one day but that it never happened.

Then one day, Batman appeared in front of her pet store. He had been shot and was bleeding badly. Batman asks for Selina to help him. Batman then passes out. Batman wakes up and finds himself tied to Selina’s sofa. (And not in a fun way.) Selina says that Batman has lost too much blood. Batman asks Selina to untie him and that there is still time for him to get medical treatment. Batman says that he came to Selina because he trusted her.

Selina answers that Batman came here because he loves Selina. Selina continues that she is letting Batman die because she loves him. Batman mumbles “So much to do…” Batman then dies. Selina says that she thought she was going to kill herself at that moment. But, she didn’t. Instead, she came here to tell her story.

Off panel Batman says that Selina just told the death of Robin Hood. Not his death. The other voice responds “No, it was your death, or at least, it was Batman’s.”

We then see Alfred stand up in front of the casket and tell his story. Alfred talks about how he was an actor before becoming the butler to the Waynes. Alfred talks about how he watched Bruce mourn his parents’ death and then dedicate himself to becoming the Batman. Alfred says that being the Batman was good for Bruce because it took away his black moods. And that Bruce started to smile.

However, the smile began to fade. That sometimes Bruce would go out at night and find criminals to stop, but most of the nights he did not. We see Bruce with his cowl off curled up crying and looking insane in the corner of the Batcave. Alfred says that Bruce was drifting away from him and that the black moods were coming back.

Therefore, Alfred contacted one of his old theater friends, Eddie, and convinced him to be a costumed criminal who employed elaborate riddles. That he would be called the Riddler. Alfred said that this made Bruce a new man.

Alfred continues that whenever a black mood began to set on Bruce that Alfred would call on another one of his old theater friends to play the role of another outrageous costumed villain like the Penguin or the Scarecrow.

However, Alfred realized that Bruce needed a Moby Dick for his Ahab. A Moriarty for his Holmes. So, Alfred did what needed to be done. Alfred became the Joker and played the role well. Alfred said that those were the glory days and that Bruce came out of his shell. Alfred continued that he would play the Joker once or twice a month to keep Bruce interested, alive and awake. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever.

One night, Bruce discovered Alfred’s Joker wig and makeup. Bruce tells Alfred not to lie. That Alfred’s friend who was playing the Penguin told Bruce all about their “game.”

Bruce confronts Alfred about fabricating the Joker. Alfred admits that he and his theater friends had been playing roles of various outlandish criminals to keep Bruce going. Bruce says that everything has been a lie and that all he has done as Batman has been a lie.

Alfred responds that it has not been a lie. That if Bruce believed he was fighting evil then Bruce was indeed fighting evil. Bruce says that everything about being the Batman has been a huge joke. Alfred replies that he would not have said it that way, but that maybe it is time to stop being the Batman.

Suddenly, the Bat-signal appears in the night sky. Bruce replies that even if being the Batman was a lie, that he is still the Batman. And that even if the evil he was fighting was a lie that he has no choice but to keep fighting. Bruce says that somewhere it was real for him. Bruce asks if Alfred thinks that the Batman would just give up and lie down. Alfred replies that he does not believe that the Batman would ever lie down and die.

Alfred then sees the Bat-signal and says that he did not tell them to turn it on. Bruce responds that it is on and that he is going out on patrol. Bruce says that the Batman is needed. Alfred covers his face and whispers “Of course he is.”

We cut to Batman arriving at the Zoo where the Riddler has a bunch of children hostage. Batman walks up to Riddler and calls him by his real name “Eddie.” Batman tells Eddie that he knows about the game that Alfred set up and that it is all over. Batman says that Eddie can stop now.

Eddie points his gun at Batman and screams that he is not Eddie Nash. That Eddie Nash went away. That he is the Riddler. Batman tells Eddie to give him the gun. Eddie screams that he is the goddamn Riddler and that he is not crazy. Again, Batman tells Eddie to put down the gun.

Eddie stands there staring at Batman. Eddie then pulls the trigger and shoots Batman in the face. Batman falls to the ground dead and Riddler whispers “Did I do that?” We cut back to Alfred in front of Batman’s casket. Alfred says that they took Eddie to the madhouse. The real one. Not Arkham. And Alfred brought Bruce here to this room.

Off panel Batman says that that Alfred’s story was ridiculous. That so much of that story was impossible.

We then see the silhouette of Batman and a woman. Batman asks “Am I dead?” The woman (who has been the other voice this entire issue) answers “Not yet.” Batman asks “Are you death?” The woman answers “I don’t think death is a person, Bruce.” Batman says “Then tell me who you are. Tell me what is going on.” The woman replies “You are the world’s greatest detective, Bruce. Why don’t you figure it out?” End of issue.

Commentary
The Good: Batman #686 was an amazing read. Gaiman completely blew me away. I was not expecting an instant classic with this issue. And that is what we got with Batman #686.

Gaiman crafts such an impressive read. I have not read much by Gaiman. And it is not a reflection of my onion of Gaiman or his literary skills. I just have never been that interested in much of the subject matter of Gaiman’s comic books. Therefore, my exposure to his writing has admittedly been little.

I have never doubted Gaiman’s talents since he is certainly one of the most decorated comic book writers having won numerous awards. Gaiman is certainly extremely respected. However, I was unsure how well Gaiman would be able to write Batman and his supporting characters. Talent alone does not guarantee that a writer is going to be a hit on every comic book he pens. There always must be an understanding and connection to the characters that the writer is handling.

And this is where Gaiman absolutely stunned me. Gaiman writes all the characters in this issue with incredible deftness. All of the characters in this issue are wonderfully developed. The characters are true to their core personalities and are nuanced and textured. Gaiman gives each character their own unique voice.

The dialogue is impeccably crafted and nicely delivered. There is almost a lyrical flow to Gaiman’s dialogue. The excellent character work and dialogue combine to completely captivate the reader’s attention. The reader quickly gets lost in this issue as we connect with the characters and experience their emotions.

Batman #686 is such a dense story that has plenty of substance for the reader to dissect and consume. Gaiman impressed me with the subtleties of this story and the amazing detail that is crammed into this issue. Without a doubt, Batman #686 is an issue that certainly warrants several readings in order to sift through the various layers. There are not many comic books currently on the market that warrant multiple readings.

I was impressed with Gaiman’s technical skills. It is obvious that Gaiman is an author and not just a comic book writer. Batman #686 was well assembled and certainly a cut above the typical writing that you find on most comic books.

Batman #686 is excellently plotted. Gaiman clearly put the time and effort in creating multiple drafts before arriving at the finished product that we got in this issue. Gaiman has a clear master plan in mind and an obvious direction that he wants to take with this story. Everything Gaiman does is for a reason and has a purpose. There is no fluff or wasted panel space in this issue.

The pacing is spot on as Gaiman gently massages the story through this issue. The pacing is measured allowing the endings of Selina and Alfred’s stories to have more impact upon the reader. The steady pacing also prevents the reader from feeling overwhelmed. The reader is able to process the detailed story as we progress to the ending.

I liked Gaiman’s decision to use the running dialogue between Batman and the mysterious female as the spine for this issue. It allows Gaiman to integrate them into the story in a seamless fashion that never detracts from Selina or Alfred’s stories. It also serves as a literary tool to echo the reader’s confusion over the two stories; thereby reassuring the reader that not everything they are seeing is completely true and that some confusion is to be expected. This minimizes any possible frustration the reader might have with such a bizarre story and allows the reader to simply relax and enjoy the ride knowing that the answers will come in due time.

Batman #686 was certainly a wild retrospective of the Batman’s continuity. Gaiman flashes an impressive knowledge of the Batman’s history which speaks to Gaiman’s research skills before writing this story. The reader gets treated to characters from the various eras of the Batman’s history. We see a young Golden Age Catwoman, an old Golden Age Catwoman, the Silver Age Joker, the animated series Joker (at least he looks that way to me. Of course, I could be completely incorrect with this one), the Silver Age Penguin and the current version of Montoya.

I loved seeing the Golden Age and Silver Age versions of Catwoman once again. For my money, it does not get any better than those two versions. The Golden Age Catwoman and the Silver Age Catwoman had such style and were incredibly sultry. I also enjoyed seeing the Silver Age Joker. Gaiman played this character perfectly. The Joker commenting how he never randomly kills people and that he only does it when it is funny was classic. And the subsequent debate that the street thug has with himself over what to do next was perfect.

Gaiman delivers a fantastic story with the Catwoman and Batman. This was an excellent look into the complex and sexually charged between these two characters. Gaiman immediately identifies what makes Catwoman so attractive to Batman and why Batman can never truly commit himself to Catwoman.

Batman loves Selina because she is the ultimate bad girl. Selina is a fetish queen who appeals to Bruce’s obvious dark and dangerous personality. Gaiman properly points out that if Selina ever dropped her life of crime and became a “normal” person that Bruce would immediately lose interest in her.

The inability to commit to Catwoman is because Batman’s bride will always be Gotham City. And that his first duty will always be to Gotham. Gaiman shows the reader that it is difficult to tell where Gotham ends and Bruce begins. It is as if Bruce is cut from Gotham’s fabric and the two are forever tied together. And despite Bruce’s own personal desires, he will always subordinate his own feelings for Selina in favor of his job as the Batman.

Gaiman also is able to show how Catwoman and Batman are more similar than Bruce would ever admit. Even though Bruce views himself as justice the fact is that he is a “criminal” like Catwoman in that he seeks to carry his own personal crusade against crime outside of the restraints of the law.

Gaiman ends Catwoman’s tale with a stunning twist. Selina’s love for Batman compels her to let him die. I liked how Batman says he came to Selina because he trusted her and Selina responded that Batman came to her because he loved her. This bizarre ending was actually quite fitting given the strange and volatile relationship between Bruce and Selina.

The best part was that even at the end Selina still plays second fiddle to Gotham in Bruce’s dying moments. Bruce mumbles “So much to do…” as he dies which emphasizes that Bruce is all about his mission as the Batman. Even at the end Bruce was not entertaining Selina’s notions of love.

After reading Catwoman’s story I did not think that Gaiman could top it. But he did. Alfred’s story was excellent. It was pure genius. What an incredibly original and unique take on the dynamic between Bruce and Alfred. Gaiman plays with the concept that the Batman identity was crafted in part for Bruce to deal with his black moods. That fighting crime was the only remedy to his childhood trauma and lingering pain.

In this story, Gaiman asks the simple question of what would have happened if Batman did not have an endless source of criminals to occupy his mind and drive his purpose of existing. The answer is not as basic as we see that without a steady stream of criminals, Bruce inevitably sinks back into his black moods. Without the cathartic practice of stopping crime, Bruce is unable to process and deal with his own mental scarring and trauma.

The concept of Alfred using his theater background and friends to create outlandish and colorful villains to pull Bruce out of his moods was simply brilliant. I loved how Gaiman turned Batman’s Silver Age rogues gallery into a huge lie. Nothing more than an elaborate theater act in which colorful characters like Penguin, Riddler and the Joker were hatched by Alfred’s imagination.

What was so neat about this plotline was that it actually made sense and fit nicely into the core personality of Alfred’s character. Alfred is Bruce’s “father” and any parent would be willing to go to the most elaborate lengths if it meant their child would be happy. Gaiman has Alfred acting true to his core character by designing an elaborate world of fabricated villains and lies designed to create a theater of dark fantasies to entertain his “son.”

Of course, the topper was Alfred being the Joker himself. The psychology behind Bruce needing his own ultimate arch nemesis in order to keep him going was well played. Bruce’s realization well done. The reader could feel Bruce’s pain as he realized that his entire life was nothing but one elaborate joke. I liked that even this crippling revelation was not enough to keep Bruce from still being the Batman and refusing to quit.

Gaiman supplied a rather shocking ending to Alfred’s story. The reader witnesses Eddie having a complete breakdown as the lines between reality and fantasy blurred. Alfred’s joke had been taken too far and Eddie had become completely lost in his role as the Riddler. Gaiman also presents the reader with a Batman who uncharacteristically enters a dicey situation with his guard completely down. This was on hell of an ending that hits the reader square in the chest.

Gaiman ends Batman #686 with a solid hook ending as Batman clearly confused and lost as to where he is and what is going on. To this point, Batman’s questions mirror the reader’s questions concerning the issue that they have just read. I like that the mysterious female’s answer that since Batman is the world’s greatest detective that he should be able to figure out what is going on. This was a nice mysterious and opaque ending that leaves the reader with so many questions and anxiously awaiting Gaiman’s next issue.

I have no idea what is going on in this issue or how and where Batman #686 fits into the increasingly convoluted continuity of Batman that we have gotten in RIP and Final Crisis. And I don’t really care. Batman #686 was just a great story and I am enjoying it for that fact.

I do not think that this story was a part of the Omega Sanction where a person experiences their death in different realities over and over. But, I guess it is possible. Another possible explanation is that Bruce is witnessing the fates of Batmen from some of the various multiple Earths.

It is possible that Gaiman is presenting to the reader the metaphysical deaths of the Batman from the various eras in Batman’s continuity. Gaiman asking the question of “What Happened to the Caped Crusader?” is his look back across Batman’s continuity searching for what happened to each version of Batman’s character. This would fit with the mysterious woman’s line of “No, it was your death, or at least, it was Batman’s.” That seems to hint that Bruce Wayne is witnessing the deaths of the Batmen from his different eras.

The first story would be the “death” of the Golden Age Batman. The second story would be the death of the Silver Age Batman. This could be the metaphysical interpretation of how DC “killed” the Golden Age Batman to give us a much different Silver Age Batman. And then years down the road, DC “killed” the Silver Age Batman to give us the much different post-1986 version of Batman.

Or maybe Gaiman has something else entirely different in mind with this story.

Andy Kubert and Scott Williams deliver plenty of incredible artwork. Kubert’s art is a perfect match to the tone and mood of Gaiman’s story. Batman #868 was such a visually appealing book. Kubert is able to inject plenty of emotion and intensity into Gaiman’s story.

The Bad: I have no complaints with this issue.

Overall: Batman #868 was an excellent issue. I urge you to run, not walk, to your local comic shop and pick up this issue immediately. Batman #868 is certainly worth the cover price. You will be rewarded with a story that is well crafted and completely captivating from start to finish.