Comic Book Review: Secret Invasion #5

The Revolution still has not been impressed at all with Bendis’ surprisingly meager, predictable and unoriginal story with Secret Invasion. Still, Bendis has four more issues to go and I am holding out hope that he will be able to turn this title around and deliver an exciting ending to Secret Invasion. Let’s hope for the best and hit this review for Secret Invasion #5.

Creative Team
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Pencils: Leinel Yu
Inks: Mark Morales

Art Rating: 6 Night Girls out of 10
Story Rating: 5 Night Girls out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 Night Girls out of 10

Synopsis: We begin at Thunderbolts Mountain where Norman Osborn is telling Skrully Captain Marvel that he knows what it is like to not know who he is. Osborn points out that Skrull-Vell does not want to kill everyone at Thunderbolts Mountain despite his orders.

Osborn asks Captain Skrull-Vell if he picked this form or if he was assigned to it. Skrull-Vell answers that he picked this particular form. Osborn says that the only person who can truly decide who Skrull-Vell is inside and out is himself. Osborn asks Skrull-Vell if he truly thought that he was Mar-Vell brought here to protect Earth in its time of need. Skrull-Vell answers yes. Osborn comments that he is so sorry for Skrull-Vell.

Skrull-Vell then holds his head and screams and blasts off into the sky. Osborn orders his troops to shoot anyone who seems strange. Osborn grabs a gun and states that they are at war.

We cut to Nick Fury’s secret hideout. Nick is informed that all global communications have been knocked out. Nick is duly impressed. Suddenly, they get a transmission being broadcast across the globe via various global leaders like Tony Stark, Doctor Doom, Magneto, various Presidents and Prime Ministers, etc.

The transmission states that the Skrulls have come to Earth to save humans from themselves. That the humans are destroying themselves via war and disease and are also destroying the Earth with pollution. Therefore, the Skrulls are here to save the humans from themselves. The transmission states that Earth is now a part of the Skrull Empire and for all humans to conform and assimilate to the Skrull way of life. That mankind’s days of poverty, hardship, disease and greed are over. The transmission ends with “He loves you so much.”

We slide over to Agent Brand aboard the Skrull ship where Reed Richards is being held captive. Several Skrulls approach Brand and ask her to identify herself immediately. Brand begins speaking Skrull and answers that she is working undercover with the Queen’s personal taskforce and does not need to answer to them. The Skrulls apologize and lower their guns. Brand then quickly grabs one of the guns and blows away all the Skrulls.

Brand then busts into the operating room where Reed is strapped to a medical table. Brand blows away all of the Skrull doctors. Brand then opens an airlock and ejects the rest of the Skrulls in the ship out into space.

Brand then unhooks Reed from the medical table. Reed regains control of his body and calls Brand a Skrull. Reed screams for the Skrull to tell him where his family is being held. Reed yells that he is going to kill every single Skrull. (Wow. This scene was totally out of character for Reed.)

Reed then chokes out Brand. Reed notices that the unconscious Brand did not revert to Skrull form. Reed immediately begins working on the Skrull computer. Reed comments that the Skrulls should have killed him when they had the chance. Reed states that the Skrulls needed Reed’s brain. That the Skrulls could not do this on their own.

We hop over to the plotline that will never progress over on the SHIELD Helicarrier. We get more of the same tired dialogue from Jarvis about Maria Hill needing to surrender. We then get some really contrived dialogue from Maria about her needing to make a t-shirt that says that Nick Fury was right.

Jarvis orders his Skrully SHIELD soldiers to shoot Maria. They blast her full of holes and we discover that it was just an LMD of Maria. We then see Maria watching everything from far away via a sniper’s scope. Maria straps on her jetpack and blasts off. Maria then initiates the Helicarrier’s self-destruct command. The Helicarrier then explodes presumably killing Skrully Jarvis and all the Skrully SHIELD soldiers.

We cut back to the Skrull ship where Brand suddenly regains consciousness. Reed apologizes for choking her out. Reed tells Brand that the other Skrull ships are attacking them. Reed says that the Skrulls used his brain to start this war and that he is going to use his brain to end it.

Reed tells Brand that he needs her to find the ship’s cloaking device and then to pilot this ship. Suddenly, Skrull-Vell arrives on the scene and begins destroying the Skrull ships that were attacking the ship with Reed and Brand in it.

Reed says that his family is dying and tells Brand to fly the ship to New York. Brand responds that the entire world is dying and that they are going to make one stop first before they go to New York.

We shift back to the Savage Land where we see Spider-Man, Ka-Zar, Shanna, Black Widow, Luke Cage, Hawkeye, 1970’s Mockingbird and Tony Stark squared off with the 1970’s Thor, Invisible Woman, White Witch and Ms. Marvel. Bendis proceeds to treat the reader with even more of that so totally not beaten into the ground “You’re a Skrull! No! You’re a Skrull dialogue.”

Suddenly, Brand and Reed arrive on the scene in the Skrull space ship. Reed blasts the ground with some strange device he has just created. This explosion causes the 1970’s heroes to revert back to their Skrull forms. This includes Mockingbird. (Shocking! Not.) Tony stays in his human form which prompts Black Widow to tell him that she knew he was not a Skrull. (Wow, and so did every single comic book reader with more than two brain cells.)

Hawkeye snaps at the sight of his wife actually being a Skrull. Hawkeye grabs one of Black Widow’s machine guns and kill the Skrully Mockingbird. The rest of our heroes take out the other 1970’s Skrully heroes. Reed then examines Tony. Our heroes are shocked, shocked I say, that their Spider-Woman is really a dirty Skrull.

Clint then interrupts everyone and tells them all to listen to him. Clint then screams “This doesn’t end till every last one of them dies! You hear me?! Every fucking last one of them!” End of issue.

Comments
The Good: This was the tale of two stories as Secret Invasion #5 started out like a ball of fire and proceeded to finally progress several stagnant plotlines before hitting the scene on the Helicarrier and then falling completely apart and becoming a total train wreck by the end of this issue.

Bendis finally turns in a very well paced issue with Secret Invasion #5. The story has a great flow as it offers an enjoyable blend of action and drama. At no point does the story drag. Nor does the story jump around randomly like some of the previous issues. It seems like Bendis has finally hit his stride on Secret Invasion as he has gotten this story up to its proper pace.

Secret Invasion #5 was by far the best plotted issue so far. After wasting the reader’s time for four issues as all the various plotlines were trapped in suspended animation, Bendis finally delivers plenty of quality plot progression in this issue. Secret Invasion #5 progressing the plotlines involving Skrull-Vell, Reed Richards, the Helicarrier scene and the Savage Land scene. It is nice to see Bendis finally displaying some focus and direction in this story.

Bendis did a good job finally tying together some of the various disparate plotlines by having Skrull-Vell show up and attack the Skrull ships that were attacking Reed and Brand and by having Reed and Brand show up on at the Savage Land to tie up that plotline. I was absolutely thrilled that the wretched Savage Land plotline involving the 1970’s heroes has been mercifully put out of its misery like a dying animal.

Bendis accomplished more in Secret Invasion #5 than he did in the previous four issues of Secret Invasion. Maybe there is hope that Bendis has finally gotten in gear and is going to deliver a fast paced and enjoyable remaining three issues on Secret Invasion. I am much more positive and hopeful that the final three issues just might be pretty entertaining reads.

While Secret Invasion #5 did not have as much action as some of the previous issues, Bendis still supplies the reader with enough action to keep this issue from being too dull. My favorite action scene was watching Brand kick tons of Skrull butt.

Bendis crafted an excellent scene with Skrull-Vell and Osborn. Personally, as a long-time Mar-Vell fan, I find Skrull-Vell to be a complete abomination. I view it as Marvel just pissing all over Mar-Vell’s character. But, the fact remains that this was a very well written scene.

I enjoyed how Bendis writes Norman Osborn in this scene. It was very well done and rather subtle and nuanced which was unlike much of the rest of Bendis’ writing on this issue. Bendis does a good job showing how slick of a character Osborn is. We see what appears to be a genuinely sympathetic Osborn to the personality conflict raging inside of Skrull-Vell. Bendis then sharply contrasts that side of Osborn with his cold and ruthless nature as he grabs a gun and orders his soldiers to shoot anyone who acts strange.

Bendis did a good job conveying to the reader the confusion and trauma boiling over in Skrull-Vell. Bendis makes Skrull-Vell a sympathetic character. The reader immediately feels Skrull-Vell’s pain of having his entire existence exposed as a complete fraud. I dig the twist that at least one of the Skrulls’ sleeper agents is rebelling against them. This makes perfect sense given the in-depth and traumatic transformation that these sleeper agents undergo in order to literally become the human that they are impersonating.

I liked the short scene with Nick Fury and his new Howling Commandos. Bendis finally has the Skrulls deliver their manifesto to the human populace. I liked that the Skrulls used various political and social leaders in order to convey their message. Yes, the Skrull speech was predictable, but it effectively got the point across and made sense and logically fit into the Skrulls’ plan and view of humans in general.

The best part of the Skrulls’ manifesto was that it perfectly reflected the concepts of Manifest Destiny that an intergalactic empire like the Skrull Empire would possess. I enjoyed the fact that Bendis has the Skrulls cloak their imperialistic attitudes in the trappings of benevolence and humanitarianism.

It was surprisingly sly of Bendis to show the Skrulls display the often used political tactic of telling the people that they know what is good for the people better than the people do themselves. Quite often political groups use liberal views of “saving” the general populace from certain societal ills as an excuse to rob the general populace of their free will and personal freedoms.

I completely enjoyed the scenes with Reed and Brand. I really dig Brand’s character and am glad that she is getting quality panel time in this big event. I love how Bendis is utilizing Brand in this story. Bendis has a nice feel for Brand’s character and is doing a nice job elevating her status within the 616 Universe by giving her such a prominent role in Secret Invasion.

Bendis also does a quality job writing Reed’s character in this issue. I love how despite all of the bravado and feelings of superiority from the Skrull Empire that the fact remains that they needed Reed’s brain in order to pull off their attack on Earth.

I actually did not mind the rage from Reed upon being freed from the Skrull operating table. Was it borderline overdramatic and out of character? Yes. But, the fact is that even the mildest mannered and rational man can morph into a raging beast when his family and children are in mortal danger.

The Bad: Secret Invasion #5 still possesses the general defects that lie at the heart of Secret Invasion and that continue to plague this big event. These inherent defects are that Secret Invasion, at its core, is a shallow, unoriginal and extremely predictable story. That trend definitely continues with Secret Invasion #5.

Bendis’ dialogue in this issue was average at best and downright painfully cheesy, overly dramatic and ham-handed at worst. The dialogue in the scene with Jarvis and Maria was just terrible. Talk about your unnecessarily convoluted set-up for such contrived “witty banter” from Maria Hill concerning the T-shirt that she wants to make. Good lord, just have Maria spit out her props that Nick Fury is always right instead of having to artificially contort the dialogue into some ridiculously contrived banter.

Although it was fantastic to finally see plot development with the scene on the SHIELD Helicarrier after four issues of nothing, the result was still predictable and unimpressive. If you have been reading New Avengers then you knew that Maria had to be using an LMD. Maria is not dumb enough to ignore the warnings of a man like Nick Fury.

And common sense tells you that the only way Maria could get out of this situation was to initiate the Helicarrier’s self-destruct program. The reader knew that there was no way in the world an officer like Maria Hill would just surrender and turn over one of the greatest weapons in the world over to the Skrulls.

Therefore, the “surprise” of Maria Hill using an LMD and the “shock” of Maria blowing up the Helicarrier had practically zero impact on the reader at all. Because this scene was so ridiculously drawn out and predictable, the reader simply turns the page on to the next scene without much reaction at all.

The scene in the Savage Land was a fitting end to what has been a complete and total failure of a plotline involving the 1970’s heroes. Bendis absolutely screwed the pooch with this plotline and managed to bungle just about every single aspect of it.

This scene also sports some truly horrendous dialogue. Bendis subjects the reader to more of the “You’re a Skrull! No! You’re a Skrull” dialogue that has become so maddeningly old and tired. This worn out “You’re a Skrull! No! You’re a Skrull” dialogue in this scene totally robs the scene of any possible suspense or drama. We have seen this scene over and over hundreds of time before. It made the Savage Land scene feel terribly rote.

The “surprise” Skrull reveals in the Savage Land scene were also totally predictable. Absolutely everyone knew that all the 1970’s heroes were Skrulls. We all figured that out back in Secret Invasion #1.

The Mockingbird “stunning” Skrull reveal was as equally predictable. Everyone knew that she was a Skrull. We all saw that coming from a mile away. This was just a cheap literary method employed in order to create some artificial and cheap “drama” and allow Hawkeye to deliver a campy over the top ending to this issue.

And the “surprising” non-Skrull reveal that Tony is in fact not a Skrull was a complete and total miss. Why? Because we all knew that Tony was not a Skrull. It was obvious based on the non-subtle clues Bendis gave to the reader earlier in the story and unnecessarily dragging out this sub-plot. Also, Marvel went out of their way in every single interview leading up to Secret Invasion to emphatically state that out of all the characters, Tony Stark was definitely not going to be revealed as a Skrull.

All of this translated into the various “surprise” reveals and the “surprise” non-reveal having absolutely no impact on the reader at all. Instead, the reader simply shrugs their shoulders and moves on. Over the course of the past four issues, the reader has been tapping their toes and impatiently waiting for Bendis to finally stop wasting time and get around to revealing Mockingbird and the rest of the 1970’s heroes as Skrulls and revealing that Tony is not a Skrull.

The Savage Land plotline has been abysmal as it completely lacked any mystery, suspense or excitement. This was a terribly shallow and predictable plotline. It is unfortunate that Bendis could not do something more creative with the 1970’s heroes. They had so much potential. Instead, he took the uncreative route of merely introducing them to the story as cannon fodder designed to waste time and take up panel space in order for Bendis to stretch Secret Invasion’s thin story over the course of eight issues.

The Savage Land scene also lacked internal logic. Bendis has the Avengers startlingly slaughter the remaining Skrully 1970’s heroes in a brutal and cold fashion. And this is in the same issue where Bendis states his compelling case for Skrull-Vell being a sleeper agent who has the choice to decide to be a hero rather than a mindless soldier for the Skrull Empire.

We saw Thor, Mockingbird, Jewel and Invisible Woman horrified by the fact that they were Skrulls. Could they have no made the same conscious decision as Skrull-Vell to rebel against the Skrull Empire and fight like the heroes that they were transformed into? Unfortunately, due to Bendis’ lack of internal logic we will never know.

The ending to Secret Invasion was completely laughable. I actually burst out loud with laughter at Hawkeye’s dialogue. And I am pretty sure that making the reader roll their eyes and giggle was not Bendis’ intention or desire with this ending. Honestly, was the patented Darth Vader “Nooooo!” not cheesy enough for Bendis to use for this ending?

Bendis has Hawkeye deliver his dialogue in such a ridiculously hammy and overdramatic manner that would have made Charlton Heston, William Shatner and Samuel Jackson all green with envy. This was quite possibly one of the most unintentionally laughable and unintelligent endings to a comic book in quite some time.

I am just not a fan of Yu’ style of art and I found Secret Invasion #5 to be the weakest effort that Yu has given up to this point.

Overall: Secret Invasion #5 was another pedestrian read. However, it was enjoyable to see Bendis actually progression the various plotlines with a sense of purpose and direction. While this issue certainly had its fair share of warts, I still took it as a positive sign that Bendis might finally be pulling this story together for an entertaining final three issues.

Will Secret Invasion always be limited by its inherent defects of being shallow, predictable and unoriginal? Sure. But, that does not mean that it cannot be a fun story. And I think that we just might be in store for three exciting issues.

If you enjoy fun low budget and cheesy science fiction movies then I would certainly recommend Secret Invasion. If you enjoy straight forward comic books that are easy to follow then Secret Invasion will probably appeal to you. Bendis has certainly succeeded in making Secret Invasion extremely mass consumable in that the reader need not put forth any effort at all in order to follow and enjoy this story.

However, if you prefer complexity, depth and substance to your comic books then don’t bother spending your money on this title.