Comic Book Review: Ultimates 3 #3

The Revolution has not been all that impressed with Loeb’s take on the Ultimates. I will give fair disclosure that I was a huge fan of Millar’s run on this title. And any version of the Ultimates that strayed too far from what Millar gave us probably had little chance of winning me over. At any rate, I’m still giving this title a fair shake. Let’s go ahead and hit this review for Ultimates 3 #3.

Creative Team
Writer: Jeph Loeb
Artist: Joe Madureira

Art Rating: 7 Night Girls out of 10
Story Rating: 4 Night Girls out of 10
Overall Rating: 5.5 Night Girls out of 10

Synopsis: We begin with Wolverine walking into the Ultimates’ mansion. Wolverine says he is here because the X-Men make Magneto their business. And that the Brotherhood is connected to Magneto. Hawkeye asks Wolverine “Didn’t you used to be in the Brotherhood?” Wolverine spits back “Didn’t you used to have a wife and two kids.” Hawkeye calls Wolverine a “mutie” and says it is on. Hawkeye unloads a crapload of bullets into Wolverine. Wolverine shrugs them off and puts his claws to Hawkeye’s head. Hawkeye tells Wolverine to go ahead and kill him. Hawkeye mumbles that he is better off dead.

Wolverine backs off. Janet asks Hawkeye what is wrong with him. Hawkeye tells Janet to fuck off. Captain America tells Hawkeye to watch his language. Hawkeye tells Captain America to fuck off, too.

Thor yells for everyone to shut up. That they should concentrate on finding the Brotherhood. Wolverine then tells the story of how he first came to Wundagore and came across Scarlet Witch’s mother, Magda. Wolverine came to Wundagore to find Magda in order to see if she would help him end his life. Wolverine passed out when he arrived in Wundagore due to the tough trek through the Balkan Mountains.

That Magda took Wolverine back to her home and the two of them end up having some hot and nasty sex. Unfortunately, Magneto then comes home and is none to please that his wife is slutting about with another man. Magneto quickly kicks Wolverine’s ass and Wolverine is thrown out of Wundagore and was never able to find it again.

Wolverine mentions how years later he hooked up with Magneto and the Brotherhood. Magneto either honestly didn’t remember about their first meeting since it happened so quickly or he remembered and knew what seeing his daughter would be like for Wolverine and that Magneto could use that to his advantage.

Magneto charged Wolverine with the task of killing his pathetically weak son, Quicksilver, in order for Wolverine to prove his loyalty to Magneto.

We cut to Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver walking through the forest together. They are holding hands in a more romantic way than a normal brother and sister. Wolverine charges onto the scene and attacks Quicksilver. Scarlet Witch then powers up and tells Wolverine to leave her brother alone. Scarlet Witch conjures up a ton of pissed off dinosaurs that attack Logan.

At that point, Wolverine realized that Pietro wasn’t’ protecting Wanda from the world. That Pietro was protecting the world from Wanda. Wolverine made his escape. He then watched Pietro lovingly hold Wanda and tell her that he will never let her powers get out of control. That he will always look after her. They then kiss. Wolverine says that Quicksilver was spurned by his father and desperate for his mother. That Quicksilver found an incestuous love in his sister, Wanda.

We cut back to the present in the Ultimates’ mansion. Wolverine comments that Hawkeye already doesn’t’ like “muties” and is an excellent marksman that maybe he is connected to Wanda’s death. Janet then orders two teams to go into action. Captain America and Iron Man stay in New York with Wasp. That Logan, Thor, Valkyrie, Thor, Hawkeye and Black Panther will all go in search of Magneto.

We see our heroes entering the Quinjet. They are headed for the Savage Land. When Wolverine sees Black Panther he looks at him oddly. The Quinjet then takes off.

We then see Iron Man appear on the scene and tells Janet that he found the bullet that killed Scarlet Witch. That the bullet was DNA specific designed only to kill Scarlet Witch. Iron Man says that the bullet was made by Stark Industries. Janet asks Tony why he would have made such a bullet. Iron Man removes his faceplate and reveals that he is a robot underneath and answers “Who said anything about me being Tony?” The fake Iron Man then blasts Wasp.

We cut to the Quinjet landing in the Savage Land. Wolverine gets a minute alone with Black Panther and says that he didn’t say anything in front of the others, but that he can’t figure out what Black Panther is doing and Wolverine hopes that Black Panther doesn’t get somebody killed.

Suddenly, Ka-Zar and Shanna arrive on the scene and great our heroes. Ka-Zar says that the Avengers arrived undetected and that Magneto will never know what hit him. End of issue.

Comments
The Good: Ultimates 3 #3 was a very pedestrian read. Loeb delivers a standard issue action comic book. This issue is at least properly paced as it doesn’t drag at all. Loeb certainly cranks out enough action to keep this story moving.

Loeb teases the reader with a couple of mysteries. First, Loeb has the reader wondering what in the world in up with Black Panther? We aren’t too sure if either it is actually Black Panther, but that he is up to something sneaky. Or if it is actually someone else simply posing as Black Panther and Wolverine’s acute senses were able to “sniff” out the imposter.

We get a neat little twist in the revelation that Iron Man was not Tony Stark. Instead, it is a robot. It should be interesting to see who is behind this robot Iron Man. And if it is also the same person who used the special Stark designed bullet to kill Scarlet Witch. And it isn’t a surprise that Stark Industries would design DNA specific bullets. They are a weapons design company and what more useful of a weapon than a DNA specific bullet? It certainly would help to put down rogue metahumans who could pose a serious danger.

I have to say that I dig the incestuous relationship between Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch. Yeah, it is stomach turning, but at least it is original. How many incestuous super heroes are there running around in the DCU or the Marvel Universe? Not too many. And honestly, Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch have always had a brother/sister relationship that seemed a little creepy.

I continue to enjoy Madureira’s artwork. Madureira has a dynamic manga inspired style that creates a pretty cool looking comic book. Madureira draws a fantastic looking Iron Man. I certainly wouldn’t mind it if Marvel placed Madureira on an Iron Man title some time soon. Madureira’s Thor is also pretty bad-assed looking.

The only problem with the artwork is that the colorist is doing Madureira absolutely no favors. The colors are dark and dull and simply don’t match Madureira’s style of artwork. And the colors give the Ultimates a very dim and muddy look.

The Bad: Ultimates 3 #3 has plenty of warts. The plotting is weak. The reader gets the feeling that Loeb is simply making things up on the fly. The story in this issue lacks focus. Ultimates 3 #3 is a bit of a disjointed and choppy read as the reader is clumsily jerked from scene to scene with no apparent pattern. It is reminiscent of the poor flow that Loeb’s run on Wolverine possessed.

The dialogue is average at best. For the most part, the dialogue in this issue reads like what you would find in a 1990’s Image comic book. And that is most definitely isn’t a good thing. Unfortunately, all of the characters pretty much speak with a generic external voice. And there is a real lack of chemistry being generated between these characters with this ordinary dialogue.

I know that each writer has their own take on certain characters, but Loeb’s take on the Ultimates is so drastically different from what Millar gave us that I have a hard time reconciling the two. Even though writers do have different styles, I do think that writers have to honor the general theme, feel and basic nature of the title that they are writing.

Loeb is giving us a version of the Ultimates that is simply too drastic of a change from what we got under Millar. These characters in the Ultimates act nothing like they did under Millar. What used to be deep, complex, intriguing and fascinating characters have all morphed into rather one-dimensional characters. The Ultimates now remind me a lot of the standard issue characters that you would get in a 1990’s Image comic book.

A great example of this is Loeb’s version of Hawkeye. Look, I dig heroes with a death wish and that are extremely conflicted. However, Loeb’s attempt to pull this off with Hawkeye has failed miserably. Instead of being a bitter man with a death wish, Hawkeye just comes off as a punk-ass.

Millar’s Hawkeye was the ultimate bad-ass. I mean, Millar had Hawkeye tear off his own fingernails and use them as weapons to kill the guards who held him captive. That is sick! On the other hand, Loeb’s Hawkeye is kind of lame. Loeb has reduced Hawkeye into just a rip-off of the Grifter. And that really isn’t a good thing.

Now my next complaint deals with Wolverine’s appearance in this issue. I have to be clear that I have always been a huge fan of Wolverine. I have a complete run of ever title Wolverine has had dating back to his first ever mini-series. So my complaint with Wolverine has nothing to do with me simply not liking his character.

Honestly, what is up with Ultimates 3 #3 turning into the Wolverine show? I thought this was the Ultimates. Instead, I got to read an issue that felt more like Ultimate Wolverine. I strongly disliked having the feeling that Wolverine was unnecessarily shoved down our throat and allowed to hi-jack this title. This entire issue centers on Wolverine. He stars on the cover of the issue. He gets to dominate the dialogue. He gets to dominate the action. And Wolverine even gets to punk out a member of the Ultimates. I get it already. Wolverine’s the man and everyone else in the Marvel Universe is irrelevant.

Seriously, Wolverine what Wolverine gets to do in Ultimates 3 #3 is the comic book equivalent of a man breaking into another man’s house, drinking his beer, having sex with his wife and then relaxing on his sofa and watching sports on the TV. Wolverine absolutely dominates this issue from start to finish. Even though I have always been a fan of Wolverine’s character, I have to admit that I am so sick of seeing Wolverine in practically every issue that I purchase. If I purchase an issue of the Ultimates, it means that I desire to read an issue about the Ultimates. Not Wolverine. Call me crazy.

Overall: Ultimates 3 #3 has failed to capture my interest or live up to the high standards that Millar set on this title. If you were a fan of Millar’s version of the Ultimates then you probably will not enjoy Loeb’s version of the Ultimates at all. However, fans of 1990’s Image comic books will probably get a kick out of Ultimates 3 #3.