Uncanny X-Men #506 Review

The Revolution has been critical of Fraction’s work on Uncanny X-Men. It has hardly been anything impressive. However, Fraction showed some improvement with Uncanny X-Men Annual #2. It was by far the best effort that Fraction has given us on this title. Hopefully, Fraction can keep the ball rolling and give us at least a solid read with Uncanny X-Men #506. Let’s go ahead and hit this review.

Creative Team
Writer: Matt Fraction
Pencils: Terry Dodson
Inks: Rachel Dodson

Story Rating: 6 Night Girls out of 10
Art Rating: 9 Night Girls out of 10
Overall Rating: 7.5 Night Girls out of 10

Synopsis: We begin with Emma Frost waking up in a white room full of white squares. One of the white squares turns black. Emma touches it and black ink pours from the square and fills up the room and envelops Emma. Emma screams out for Scott. We cut to Emma waking up from her nightmare. Scott asks if she is okay. Emma replies that nothing is wrong. However, Emma has a scared look on her face.

We shift to Oakland where Colossus is with the Russian thugs at the docks to open a container that have been sent over from Russia. Peter thinks how the container is probably full of weapons or drugs. Colossus plans on seeing what is in the container and then bringing in the cops and taking down the thugs.

The thugs pop open the doors to the container and Colossus is stunned to see that it is full of women. The thugs say that the women are whores and that they are barely worth the money that it cost to smuggle them into the country.

Colossus is full of the typical comic book righteous indignation and armors up and tells the thugs to shut up or he will break their jaws. Colossus then says that “You know what? To hell with it. I’m going to break your jaw anyway.” Colossus proceeds to kick the hell out of the Russian thugs. Colossus then smiles and says “Ladies. Welcome to America. You’re all free.” (I am having flashbacks to Arnold Schwarzenegger spitting out this type of cheesy kind of dialogue like he used to in his 1980’s action flicks.)

We cut to the next day at Greymalkin Industries. Cyclops has assembled the X-Men before him. (Anole is playing on his iPhone. The X-Men are so trendy. Wait a minute. I have an iPhone. I better shut up now.) Cyclops tells the team to not freak out. Cyclops then repeats for them to not freak out. (I have never imagined Cyclops ever talking the way he does now.)

Cyclops reveals that Trask leaked the footage of the Cooperstown massacre. Cyclops says that they are still working on how Trask got his hands on the footage. Trask is also pushing anti-mutant legislation in several states. Cyclops tells the X-Men to stay cool. No fights. No showboating. And no property damage. Cyclops says that they cannot afford any bad publicity at the moment. (When could the X-Men ever afford bad publicity?)

Pixie runs into the room and tells the X-Men that they have to come outside immediately. We zip to the X-Men walking to the front gate of the Greymalkin facility. We see a small group of ex-mutants talking about how they are being persecuted. How they are being chased and having their houses burned down.

Emma tells Scott that she has read their minds and that they all have similar stories. Scott asks Emma what these people want. (Really? Is Scott that brain dead? They want sanctuary! You know the entire reason that you created the Greymalkin facility and blabbed for two issues about it being sanctuary for mutant kind.)

Emma tells Scott to let the people in. Cyclops opens the gates and welcomes them into Greymalkin. Wolverine states that they are not prepared to take in refugees. (Wait, just a few issues ago, Cyclops went on about how the Greymalkin facility would be a sanctuary open to all mutants. Am I missing something?) Scott replies that Greymalkin is open to all mutants past or present. (Okay, so why did you ask Emma what these people wanted?)

We zip to later that day with reporters and news crews from countries all across the globe reporting outside of the Greymalkin facility about the flood of refugees that have been showing up here seeking sanctuary. (Wait, didn’t Fraction go to great lengths to tell the reader that the exact location of the Greymalkin facility was a secret. After all, that was the reason that the X-Men had to blindfold the mayor of San Francisco when they brought her to the Greymalkin facility. But, evidently, all these news reporters knew exactly where to go to find the Greymalkin facility. What, did they find it on Google maps?)

Suddenly, Colossus shows up on the scene along with all of the Russian ladies that he rescued. Colossus opens the gates and brings the women into the Greymalkin facility. (Party!!)

The X-Men then march out to the gate. Scott asks Colossus what he is doing with all the women. Colossus replies that he rescued them from a slavery ring.

We then cut to Beast, Dr. Nemesis and Jeffries arriving on Kunashir Island in Japan. They are here to find Dr. Yuriko Takiguchi. Beast says that Dr. Takiguchi has been alleged to be dead. Beast’s intelligence suggest otherwise.

Suddenly, a bunch of giant mutant crabs burst out of the sand and attack our heroes. Dr. Nemesis spits out some pretty entertaining sarcastic dialogue about Beast’s intelligence. Our heroes then blast their way through the giant crabs and make their way to the bunker lab of Dr. Takiguchi. They enter the lab and close the door to keep out the remaining giant crabs.

The heroes then see Dr. Takiguchi waiting for them inside the lab. Dr. Takiguchi thinks that our heroes are Russian coming to take his facility and his research on atomic mutation theory. Beast explains who they are and that they have nothing to do with the Russians. Dr. Takiguchi then asks the heroes why are they here and how do they plan on escaping.

Our heroes explain that they are the X-Men and that came to ask Dr. Takiguchi to lend his talents to help them save mutantkind. Angel then asks Dr. Takiguchi what exactly they are going to need to escape from. Dr. Takiguchi says that the creatures that the X-Men encountered when trying to get into the bunker lab were just the first wave.

Dr. Takiguchi says that he really thought the X-Men were the Russians so he activated the self-destruct program in the facility. That the self-destruct program activated the one thing that Dr. Takiguchi thought the Russians could not stop. Dr. Takiguchi points out of the window. The X-Men look out the window and are stunned at what they see. Dr. Takiguchi says that he created “it” here in the lab and that it is only fitting that “its” hatred be what finally consumes him.

We cut to outside of the lab and see a giant Godzilla styled monster rising out of the water. (GOJIRA!!!!!! RUN!!!!! Oh yeah, Fraction, I have officially forgiven you for all of the poorly written issues you have subjected me to up to this point. This was very cool.) Dr. Nemesis says “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

We slide over to the Greymalkin facility. Scott asks Peter who the women are and where did they come from. Peter says that they are from Russia and that “I’m taking care of it.” Colossus then armors up. Scott says that there are legal and immigration issues as well as medical needs for the women.

Scott says that he must know how Peter found the women. Peter replies that Scott told him to find something to hit. Peter continues that a very wicked man brought these women over from Russia to be used as prostitutes. Peter says that the women used to be mutants.

Scott replies for Peter to bring help if he needs it to take down the bad guy and to keep it quiet. Scott then says that it is nice to have Peter back. Emma then approaches Peter and says that she would like to come with him to get the bad guy. Peter replies that he did not think that this kind of thing was her style. Emma answers that while she tends to be more cerebral, but she thinks that stomping some scumbags might be therapeutic. Emma then transforms into her diamond form.

We cut to the tattooed Russian villain meeting with his thugs. The tattooed villain says that he should have recognized Colossus from back in Russia. The thugs then load their weapons with armor piercing bullets. Suddenly, Colossus and Emma bust into the place. Colossus says “You monster. I brought a friend who would like to meet you.” End of issue.

Commentary
The Good: As a little kid in the 1980’s I grew up on a steady diet of the incredible cheesy action movies of that decade. The 1980’s were the height of the classic ham handed action flick. Escape From New York, Cobra, Commando, Raw Deal, Predator, Blood Sport, Cyborg, etc. These movies had poor acting, some cheesy dialogue and were fairly shallow. However, that did not change the fact that they were incredibly fun and entertaining. You did not watch these movies because you were expecting to get quality and artistic film making with a deep story and strong acting. Nope. You just wanted outrageous and over the top plotlines, cool action and some funny one-liners.

And that is what Fraction gives the reader with Uncanny X-Men #506. This is simply a fun issue. Does the dialogue sound silly and cheesy if read aloud? Yes. Is there a total lack of character work? Sure. Is the story kind of dumb and shallow? Yeah. But, is Uncanny X-Men #506 a fun and entertaining read? Absolutely. And just like those action movies that I grew up watching as a little kid, Uncanny X-Men #506 was the most enjoyable issue that Fraction has given us up to this point.

Perhaps it has taken time for Fraction to transition from what Brubaker was doing on this title to where Fraction wants to go with this title. Brubaker is a much more deliberate, detail oriented, character driven writer who weaves deep and complex stories with a serious tone. Fraction is pretty much the opposite of what Brubaker is as a writer. And if Fraction keeps entertaining me with wildly imaginative and slightly insane plot twists and crazy action scenes then I will be able to forgive this title for all of its defects.

The opening scene was interesting. This could be either Emma worried about her Dark Reign deal with Norman, Doom, Loki and Namor. Or the blackness may represent Madelyne Pryor and her villainous return to the Marvel Universe. While I am less than enthused about the Madelyne Pryor story being exhumed once again, I have to admit that I cannot wait to see the inevitable showdown between Emma and Madelyne. That should be highly entertaining.

Fraction gave the reader some solid action with Colossus kicking but on the Russian thugs for a page and then the nice brawl between Beast, Angel and Dr. Nemesis fighting the mutant crab creatures. Uncanny X-Men #506 was not a brawl-fest from start to finish, but the action that we got was well timed so that the story never lagged in the middle of the issue.

Uncanny X-Men #506 was well paced and plotted. The plotlines are fairly basic so it makes plotting this title a relatively simple task. The lack of depth and small number of plotlines on this title makes it easy for Fraction to keep focused and move the story along at a pleasant pace. Uncanny X-Men #506 is a fast read. This issue is easily consumed which should give it mass appeal.

Fraction does a nice job making Uncanny X-Men #506 new reader friendly. Fraction recaps the past events of the last several issues in just one page when Cyclops is addressing the team. It also sets the stage for the current and future climate for the X-Men as they attempt to deal with the increased effort by Trask to pass anti-mutant legislation across the country. Fraction does not hide the ball or try to confuse the reader about where he wants to go with this title and what he wants to accomplish.

My favorite part of Uncanny X-Men #506 was the scene on Kunashir Island. That scene was awesome! I am always a happy man whenever a writer is a able to work a giant Kaiju into the story. I loved the Godzilla styled Kaiju in this scene. That was such a wild plot twist and a cool idea that immediately put a huge smile on my face. The scene on Kunashir Island is Fraction at his best.

A follower of The Revolution rightly pointed out that Dr. Takiguchi is the character that created Godzilla in the Marvel Universe. I had totally forgotten about the Godzilla comic book that was published from 1977-1979. The title was written by Doug Moench. I have not read it in years. I remember getting some of these issues in the cheap back-issues bin at my local comic shop when I was a little kid. At any rate, now that my memory has been properly jogged, I like this plotline even more.

Props to Fraction for reaching back into such an old and relatively obscure Marvel title and plucking Dr. Takiguchi from it in order to use in this current story arc. That is fantastic research by Fraction and an extremely creative move. I love it when writers are able to dig up old characters from obscure titles and use them in a logical and interesting fashion in a current story arc.

Now, the follower that reminded me about Dr. Takiguchi’s history with Godzilla in the old comic book then opined that the Kaiju in Uncanny X-Men #506 might in fact me Godzilla. That would me neat if Marvel worked Godzilla back into the 616 Universe.

However, I am not too sure that Fraction is going to call this Kaiju by the name “Godzilla.” I was under the impression that Marvel had lost the licensing rights from Toho to publish Godzilla comic books. If that is indeed the case, then maybe this is Fraction trying to work a Godzilla styled Kaiju back in to the Marvel Universe. Maybe this Kaiju is Godzilla v2.0?

I continue to enjoy how Fraction writes Dr. Nemesis. This is really the only character that Fraction has managed to develop into a distinctive personality from the rest of the characters on this title. Fraction’s best dialogue is reserved for Dr. Nemesis. I am glad that Fraction brought Dr. Nemesis into this title. This is a character that clearly suits Fraction well and works well with Fraction’s style of dialogue.

Uncanny X-Men #506 ends with a solid hook ending as we see Colossus and Emma about to knock heads with the tattooed man and his thugs. I have to say that this is the first time that I have finished Fraction’s Uncanny X-Men and have been genuinely excited for the next issue. I am looking forward to some Kaiju madness as Angel, Beast and Dr. Nemesis have to take on Dr. Takiguchi’s monster. If nothing else, the next issue should have plenty of quality action.

I am a big fan of Terry and Rachel Dodson. This duo combine to create a dynamic looking issue. And few artists draw women as well as Terry Dodson. Dodson is able to draw nice curvy women without every stooping to “porn” shots like Land often does. It is possible to give the reader some cheesecake without making the reader feel dirty while looking at the comic book.

The addition of Dodson to Uncanny X-Men has made this title a much better read than when Land was the artist. Dodson’s art is clean and does a better job of conveying the story to the reader than what Land gave to the reader. I particularly enjoy how Dodson draws Cyclops. I like that Scott is drawn with two glowing red eyes through his visor rather than just one long red line beaming through his goggles.

The Bad: From a technical standpoint, Uncanny X-Men #506 was full of defects. High quality writing is not something that this issue possesses. Fraction delivers some rather cheesy dialogue at some points and simply generic dialogue at other points. And to further compound the problem with the dialogue, none of the characters, outside of Dr. Nemesis, have a unique external voice.

The character work is practically non-existent. All the characters are one-dimensional. And some of the characters do not even act like their established personalities. In particular Cyclops and Colossus. Fraction continues to show a lack of understanding of Colossus’ character. In earlier issues, Fraction has Colossus act like a total coward which is contrary to his established personality. And in this issue, Fraction has Colossus engage in way too much tough talk. Colossus has always been a relatively reserved and soft spoken character.

You could argue that Colossus was so enraged by what he saw that he talked more aggressively than usual. It just did not work for me in this scene. Tough talk is an important ingredient for some characters like Wolverine, but more often than not tough talk is just uncreative dialogue.

Fraction’s Cyclops continues to be particularly awful. Fraction writes Scott like a complete and total moron. I have never seen Scott ask so many obvious and stupid question like we have seen during Fraction’s run on this title.

Fraction’s writing lacks internal logic as Fraction seems to confuse himself on occasion even on the most basic of plot points. The scene where the ex-mutants arrive at the front gate of the Greymalkin facility seeking sanctuary was a good example of this. In that scene, Fraction seems to forget what he had Scott yammer on for two issues in Uncanny X-Men #500 and #501 about the Greymalkin facility being a rec center and a sanctuary to all mutants and ex-mutants from across the world. However, in this issue, Fraction writes Scott as being so dumb that even after hearing the ex-mutants sob stories of persecution he still has to ask Emma why the ex-mutants would be at their gate. Seriously?

And to further compound the lack of internal consistency Fraction has Wolverine comment that the X-Men are not set up to take in refugees. In just this scene, Fraction manages to make Scott and Logan look stupid as Fraction’s internal logic goes down the tubes. The very fact that Fraction hammered the point home to the reader for two issues about the Greymalkin facility being a sanctuary for all mutants means that it is exactly set up to take in refugees. This scene was simply proof of lazy writing. And I am not even going to start on the fact that Fraction cannot seem to decide if the location of the Greymalkin facility is hidden and secret or known and open to the public.

Fraction’s story on Uncanny X-Men is shallow and thin. This title has very few plotlines running at the same time. And the few plotlines that we do get lack depth. This makes Uncanny X-Men #506 a very fast read since the reader does not need to slow down and attempt to examine, digest and pick apart the various layers of the story.

Given the rising cost of comic books, I do think that it is becoming more important that the writer deliver an issue that warrants more than one reading. Luckily, this issue is still $2.99. I would have a tough time plunking down $3.99 for an issue that the reader blasts through in ten minutes and does not feel the need to re-read in order to gain a further understanding of the story.

Overall: Uncanny X-Men #506 is a fun and entertaining mindless romp that provides from some good escapism for ten to fifteen minutes. If you are looking for a serious title then I would pass on this issue. If you are looking for a carefully crafted story with intelligent dialogue, in depth character work and a dense and complex story then I would not recommend Uncanny X-Men #506. However, if you just want a fun super hero story that has some neat plot lines and some good action then definitely pick up Uncanny X-Men #506.